When I left for this trip, I was stuck in a quite depressing job, and was in desperate need of finding a dream. Somebody said…do you what’s stronger than fear? it’s HOPE.
So while I was very afraid that I will be stuck all my life in a job I don’t like with a mediocrity in everything I do, I decided to run into the world and see if maybe I will discover some hidden hopes and dreams within myself.
Most of my life I never knew what I wanted to do, I never had a constant hobby, I never practiced anything to perfection, and most of my life I felt guilty for that.
I went on this trip to discover what I am and I want to become in this lifetime. During the first 5-6 months of travel, my hopes were going more more towards the bottom of the dreams bucket, and…I was still in the same spot of nothingness as I was when I left. I figured…maybe this travels are not exactly meant to be self discovering as everybody else says, maybe I should give up and ..just have some fun. You’ll figure it out later. I was desperately looking for something to become, to create, to love (except for my boyfriend:) ). I knew that if I don’t find anything that will obsess me… I will forget it in couple of months. It must be an obsessive love.
I was constantly looking around thinking.. so what do I want to be? But since at this moment in time, I was already in Asia, and more exactly in Burma…where the food is not exactly the best, and especially there are no desserts whatsoever…I was going through a depression, and as somebody else said: I would have sold my granny for a cake :)))
So 2 reasons to be depressed: 1. After already 5-6 months of travels I haven’t yet discovered anything new about myself 2. I can’t drawn my point 1 depression into a big chocolate cake…or any other kind of sweets.
One day I woke up and figured it out. Wait a second? All I can think since we arrived to Asia…is cakes, pastries, and any other available or not available desserts. I am too busy looking for bakeries, so I don’t have time to be something else. And maybe this is what I want to be : A baker.
If I know one thing for sure since I was a child, is that I have always adored desserts. I would at any point give up on any kind of food and replace it with a gorgeous dessert. So …HELLO??!! Why haven’t you think about it before ?
Well maybe because, I never thought that this can actually be … what I want to do. I know for sure I love eating cakes and pastries, do I want to be the one making them as well ? After one month of thinking constantly about this, I answered YES. This would make me happy.
I made a plan, and ideas start pouring, I watched hundreds of videos about french patisserie, read books on baking and becoming a pastry chef, thought about attending a course somewhere in France, but this idea has a to wait..as it is pretty $$$. So I decided I will make a small home based bakery, and will work hard to get my own market stall in the farmer’s market of Prague. This is the life I want to live. This is who I want to be.
Oh ..and this means, I am coming home in April.
Now YOU find you dream. Be who you WANT to be, and LOVE what you do.
Am I afraid that this might not work out? Sure I am, but hey…what is a life without failure, and I will make as many mistakes needed until I learn what my life is about.