Tuesday, November 12th 2019

Time for a break! ( Or not ..)

This article was written on October 22nd. Since then…life has shown to me, once again, that sometimes you just have to follow the road that opens for you.

Update: Monday I will be flying to Burma.

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I have updated my CV with my current job, and that is: a traveler  However I feel that I am constantly failing to accomplish my tasks, to fulfill the duties of my job. I think I am a bad traveler. And hence, I want to quit. Or at least…I need a holiday.
I need a break and I need time. We have been running constantly for the past, nearly 4 months. And somehow I look back and I see nothing accomplished. I guess this is a matter of defining accomplishments.

To you all the travelers out there, how does one find the time to do it all ?

My basic needs take over most of my time. Simply because every day I need to take decisions about them. Nothing gets done by a habit, or a routine.

I am angry, that my day breaks down into completing simplest tasks ever: to eat, to sleep, to shower (use toilet). And these, you would think are the easiest things to satisfy, and should not be concerns or tasks. But for me they are. And I became a basic person that is fulfilling basic needs. So I traveled to the other side of the world to find…whatever enlightenment  but I have no time to do that because everyday there’s running after breakfast, lunch, dinner, and in between we need a toillet, and to find the metro,the right bus, also eat some fruits, and email your mother, and check on your money, make sure you visit the right places, at the right time of the day…so that you take good pictures, don’t get lost, and don’t get into troubles.

I am person that I very much dislike taking decisions. And that’s because when I decide upon something, it MUST be perfect. Therefore every decision uses a lot of my energy, my thoughts and my time. Well, I guess for somebody who doesn’t like to take decisions, I have chosen a wrong job. Because being a traveler is most of the time, taking decisions.
We arrived recently to Bangkok. After a very usual last minute change of plans (visa restrictions), we ended up having tickets for Burma on the 5ht of November. Right now…I don’t want to go to Burma. I don’t want to run after buses at the moment, stressing for every little next step of my life (like finding a place to sleep).

I was supposed to be on a beach in Thailand, drinking cocktails, eating seafood, swimming and diving. But ..guess what ? That is not going to happen, or at least not right now.
I feel guilty that I have not yet overcome my own fears. That I still take decisions based on hygiene standards, that I always need to have a clean place where I can sleep, that I am afraid of rats, and I don’t want to sleep with bugs. Going to bed with the thought that something might crawl on you during your sleep freaks me out. And unfortunately this sometimes makes me chose the easy way. Other times I have to convince myself, like a little kid ..I am not afraid of anything. And this works in my most brave days.
For the moment, I have take a decision. I will not go to Burma. I will fly to Kuala Lumpur and forget about decisions for a month. Alexey will still go to Burma, and will join me within 3 weeks.
Am feeling like a coward, but I need to breath. I hope this break will bring me peace of mind and strength to continue my travel. I have not given up.

With love,

Mara

Decisions

 

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8 Comments on “Time for a break! ( Or not ..)”

  1. i liked this post. Yes , if you take that approach to have things in a list, then everything becomes planned, almost mechanized. But i dont think you failed. You travelled to Iran, which is pretty good experience and you are in every month getting out of you comfort zone.So it that sense i think that you are suceeding.
    Yes you have limitations, just like everyone, but i dont think that wanting to rest, or spend time to relax is a failure, i would even argue that it is part fo traveling just as much as waking up at the right time to visit some location.

    1. Ruben, this coming from you is a real honor :) Thank you :) I know what you mean…but it is just like, I need to organize my break, and plan it, and think about how, where and what…and it is not easy. Also safety is an important factor…and since I could not find a place to rent for myself, I thought I better stick next to Alexey for next 3 weeks…and travel, and only after take a break. Which I hope will be somewhere on an island doing nothing :) If I can manage to organize that :) But yes…break is needed, just so that I can accumulate desire and pleasure to discover new places…
      Missing u and our Prague family !

  2. Mara,
    we all need a break, no metter what we are doing. I sometimes need a break from Klaus and Clara, and i do not feel guilty anymore, quite the contrary, i enjoy my little breaks, breathing, escaping the everyday life.
    And who said that traveling around the world would be easy?
    Enjoy your break and send me a picture!

  3. Ok, sorry, missed the info. So no break? Maybe later. :-)

    1. Yes, Simina…I know breaks are always needed, and I would very much like to have that, but unfortunately due to the fact that I did not find a place to rent in Kuala Lumpur within the period of time I had …I decided to go with Alexey to Burma, for safety reasons ..so I will hopefully have a break after that, if Alexey…will support me :)

  4. Mara, don’t wary be happy! Evrething gonna be great in your travel. Just take a break and just sleep, and have fun. I wish you and Alex be happy in your 1 year travel))))

  5. Reading your thread about the need of a break while travelling makes me want to leave a comment, even though the update status says the break is not happening for you right now.
    Anyway, it reminded me of my almost two months long walking “pilgrimage” experience when me and a friend of mine walked over southern France and across Spain to Santiago de Compostela. In our case, nothing was arranged in advance – we barely had a proper map, our budget was roughly 10 Eur a day at its best and we knew we would be sleeping in the nature all the time. The first two feeks were a lot about dealing with the discomfort. Accomplishing daily needs, just like food hunt, toilet needs, finding a place to sleep etc., was an everyday challenge and I felt uneasy about undergoing all this uncertainity. Plus we walked a lot.
    Having said that, I think I know what you might mean when talking about a fear while travelling. I am afraid it is all part of the process though. Then again, when I compare my situation to yours, mine was probably way easier, because you are in a different country every couple weeks, there’re bugs, rats, heat waves etc.
    In our case, it got a little better after a while, but it still was quite rough and we never knew what the day would be like. Yet, as time went by, I easened a little bit and came to a conclusion that everything would solve eventually somehow and it was not important for me to know how and when. I got accustom to this uncertainity, at least in a way. It came along with nice surprises which was the nicest part.
    But then again, I knew we had a destination to reach, I knew why I was doing it for, I knew it would only be for two months, I knew I had place and tasks to return to and last but not least it was all in Europe. Again, I bet in your case it must be much more challenging in all those different countries there, see above. As for me, I don’t know if right now I’d be able/I’d want to travel for such a long time, drifting along from country to country. You guys definitely have my respect for having the guts to do so and I keep my fingers crossed for you!
    Last idea that came on my mind, rather randomly, and which I wanted to share, are nomads. While on the “camino”, we met a few real nomads there. These were people who had this constant travel bug itching which made them move all the time, constantly. Some nomads had a leisure tempo while on the road, some were almost running all the time. Few of these nomads would always want to travel to another “Santiago”, after having reached one, they would never stop. Some seemed to be happy doing so some seemed to be less happy, it’s always like that. But I guess some of these nomads would also like to escape all this running, at least every now and then, they just did not how to do that. On the other hand, I’m sure there are nomads there who are totally happy being on the road all the time. After all we’re all different.
    What I’m trying to say is that the desire for new places sometimes really needs time so that it can pile up and we can enjoy travelling aftewards. If right now you feel like you are not enojoying it, for the obvious reasons, I’d go for a break. Travelling might not be the most predictable activity of all, but it should be possibly enjoyable.
    So, that would all about my random and rather incoherent thoughts I wanted to share with you, maybe you find them inspiring. Safe travels, hold on there, keep on shooting the nice pics and most of all, take it easy! 

    1. Thank you very much for this comment. It is indeed difficult and challenging, but am greateful to have Alexey next to me in this journey. I would have never ever got this far without him :) A break will surely come soon, and we will take our time and sit on a beach with a coconut, but till then…we are yet again adapting in Myanmar :) I have never done a walking trip anywhere, but I can imagine that CAN’T be easy.
      Hope to hear back from you again :)

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